Courtney's Return to the Stage

Last night, I took a leap of faith and found myself on stage... auditioning. As I wrote out my audition form, I realized that my last time under the lights was in 1995, during the scene of Fool for Love, by Sam Shepherd at TLU.
I remembered the high that I had when I was someone else... the energy that feeds off those forlorn black floors... the hours spent rehearsing with my high school casts in the early 90's... hours of running, warm-ups and memorizing lines.
But this was my first 'adult' audition. The play is "Twilight of the Golds." It's an intense play about the struggle of a young couple (in their 30s) who have tested their unborn child and realized it has a high percent chance of being gay. They chose to abort. There are no heroes.
As I spoke withe director before my reading, he relayed the sense of the play; asked me how I would do with it... and very directly explained the nakedness that Suzanne, the young wife, would feel/be/present to the audience. How would I feel about being this woman? How would this impact my life in the 'real world'? Could I be emotionally strong enough to suffer through an abortion each night on stage?
the side note to it all is that this character has nearly 60 pages of lines/being on stage. My fear of memorization would be my stumbling block more than anything... although last night as I slept, the reading excerpt that I did was so ingrained in my head. I was transfixed by it; and it nearly came to me in full wealth... I relate to this woman. I struggled for years to find Mr. Right; and I know that Steven is the best thing that ever happened to me!
As I read, I really did connect with the audience, it's a very intense one-on-one type environment... speaking directly with the audience... bringing them into the psychy of hte characters...
It was a flattering experience... if for nothing else than to completely love being back on the stage, under the lights and absorbing someone else's trials and tribulations... Whether or not I am chosen to be Suzanne, I am glad I've come out to the Community Theater family and made my presence known... I'll definitely be involved in some shape or form... on or off stage.